My Story

My journey began thousands—maybe millions–of years ago…so long ago that it’s hard to remember my origin story. I spent many hundreds and possibly many thousands of years swimming around in the ocean; this had a very formative effect on my whole being and shape. After feeling that I was happy with my form I decided to head for shore. I spent a long time freeing myself from mounds of sand and when I was finished I discovered that I had ended up in a place called Cromer in England. And I was not alone; many of my rock friends and family had joined me (more on this later). I spent many joyful days and years in Cromer watching all the happy holiday makers come and go. I did, however, after I had watched all these happy families for so long, wonder what it might be like to have a family of my own. I learned that people are not allowed to take things from the beach so here I would stay; not a bad life at all, but I did often wonder about families and what having a home would be like.

Our Story

Ch Ch Ch Changes

They had a fantastic weekend which included Janice eating all the crabs in Cromer! Bu,t the best bit was when they decided that they didn’t care too much for rules and that they would indeed take a keepsake from the beach back to Cemetery Lodge. Oh boy! They were due to leave the next day and went for a stroll on the beach to see if there was something that they could take with them as a memento; maybe they could sneak off with a bit of driftwood or something…….? Well, Janice decided on a stone, and Matt was thinking, “Oh, a nice pebble or something to put on the shelf.” I saw them on the beach and transmitted “rock, rock, rock” and…..it worked! Janice was already thinking, “These rocks are so pretty” (ahem). It seemed that after a while Matt was getting just a little impatient, but there were so many great looking ancient rocks. Well…you’ve probably already guessed that I was the chosen one (big happy sigh!). Matt picked me up and was surprised at my weight but proceeded to make his way up the cliff walkway with his darling wife. He made it valiantly to the halfway point and then suggested that they might leave me here hidden in the grass above a bench and come by in the morning and collect me. I was concerned but very hopeful because they seemed so very nice!

Right on cue, they arrived the next morning talking about the beach cops and how to get away with taking something from the beach. My hidey-hole, however, was a complicated situation, as several people, including a very old-timer, had taken up residence on the bench below my hiding place. After waiting and discussing for quite some time, Matt said, “Oh, f##k it, I’m getting that rock” (so brave, so handsome!). Matt descended along the cliff walkway and approached the people on the bench, leaned over them, and said “Excuse me while I get my rock” (my rock? am I to get a family after all? Maybe a home? oh please!). Janice’s heart skipped a beat when I was held aloft over the old timer’s head, thinking of the damage I could do, but I knew that I was in very safe hands. They carried me safely, though a bit nervously (beach cops!), to their car, bundled me in and took off swiftly! I had found my family and my home in the cemetery!

Oh, I spent many happy years with much love! I was the focal point in Janice’s garden, much loved and adored. Then one day, they left and took a lot of things with them. I thought it must be a big trip. It turned out to be a very long trip! After some time, strange people started coming to the house and they changed lots of things—including painting over Janice’s wonderful undersea bathroom! I waited a long time for my family to return, but they didn’t—someone new moved in! The new lady liked me and wanted to grow plants in me, but after being unsuccessful, she gave up, and I ended up being overtaken by a bush. I sat in this bush for several years wondering what had happened and what would happen.

At Last!

On a chilly January morning (January the 26^th, 2018 for you counters out there.) I heard voices. One of them sounded familiar…and, it seemed like they were talking about me. All at once the bush started rattling and moving, and I felt two warm and familiar hands around me; and then whoosh, weightlessness and the light of day! I recognized that handsome face, even after 14 years: it was Matt! (Oh, Joy!) Matt put me in his friend’s car and took me on a journey down south to where his nephew Pete was getting married. And, two days later I was packed up with Matt et al. and was taken to Pete’s house in the Lake District. Here Matt gave me a really good wash and told me that he was taking me home to their new house…in America! He said that they were really sorry for forgetting me and that Janice was sad every time she thought of me being left behind. The next morning we set off on another long journey to London. We went to Heathrow Airport to catch a plane to North Carolina. Having never been on a plane before, I was very excited! It was a long and bumpy trip but it was fun. When we got to the house, Matt said that I had to hide in the closet for a couple of weeks, as I was going to surprise Janice for the anniversary of when they met (February the 18^th—remember?). I was so excited that the time flew by. And then yesterday Matt snuck me out onto the deck and brought Janice out for the reveal. Boy, was she surprised! Tears of joy flooded that sweet face that I had missed so much. There were lots of tears, kissing and hugging and Janice told me that I was to get pride of place on the deck and that I would never, ever be left behind again!

That is my story, and I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed living it. I am, truly a very happy rock!